resistance

This is one of THOSE posts. You know, the ones you write, rewrite, and leave sit in DRAFT mode for weeks before you finally just click publish and be done with it.  When I think back to what I learned in school, I can remember a few things.  Most of all? I learned to hold back.  Wait. Keep that idea to yourself.  Crazy ideas? They are not welcome in spaces that are all planned out and structured.  Creativity? It’s not only not welcome, it’s just weird.  I learned to keep quiet.  To not say or do what I was really thinking. I became a master of blending in.  Funny thing is, that skill has followed me.  All the way into my teaching.   I keep 95 percent of my ideas in my head or pour them into this blog.  This safe place.  Where it’s all mine.  The rest of my life? I say things in a safe way, or I fail to say them at all.

When you do things differently, people don’t like it.  People are afraid of it.  People will sometimes even hate you for it.  I like unicorns and sunshine.  I don’t like making people afraid… or the thought of having someone hate an idea I have? It makes me cringe. The second you get a little bit of recognition, you know it’s coming. The post-recognition fall-out. It’s not a popular thing to talk about, but it’s real.

But, I’ve reached a point where I’ve realized something.  Doing what I believe in is far more important than holding back to please others.  It’s not about fitting in after all.   It’s about following your heart, your gut, and your passion.  No matter what.

There, I said it. On my blog. Where it’s mostly unicorns and rainbows.

Now? I just need to live it.