We seek comfort. It’s why I love familiar food, holiday traditions, and wearing pajama pants more often than real clothes on holiday break. It’s why I like rewatching Breaking Bad for about the fourth time. It’s why I open Photoshop instead of Illustrator when I want to draw. It’s why I love weekends that start off with a warm cup of coffee on a Saturday morning.
Those moments counteract the fear. But the lingering fear, “What if I stop improving?” counteracts it all. Pushes and pulls. Change is inevitable. Really letting go of our own fears means really truly embracing that intuition inside of us all. Not just cracking the door open, but putting down a “Bring It On,” welcome mat. Because maybe the fear in our head is there to push us in the right direction. Afraid? You should be.
If we live believing that each of us, in our own small way, is a message to the universe we might all head in the direction we need to. A message to improve ourselves, step by step, day by day, and push past the fear. If we do? We become what the world needs. We find true joy. We don’t win, there is no prize. The ‘prize’ is the thing that you can’t hold onto that you find on the other side of fear.
But if we stay afraid? None of us can afford to take that chance.
There will be no resolutions for 2017 for me. No “one word.” The only thing I will make?
A list of things I’ve always wanted to do but have never done. Developing my own photographs from a film camera. Self publish a book.Build something out of wood, from scratch and actually use it. Vacation somewhere nature-ish without wifi. I may add more, or I may not. I’m not afraid that the list is incomplete, I’m only afraid that I may not get started on it.
Conquering these things aren’t like ‘giant spider fear’ conquering. They are worse. They are about conquering yourself, and then enjoying a day in pajama pants to celebrate.